how to write one good sentence
Writing a sentence should be easy.
“Jack ran.”
See there? We’ve done it. Two words. Subject->verb.
Kindergarten students do this.
As the years go by, we pack more information in between full stops. You learn about coordinating conjunctions…
“Jack and Jill ran.”
Followed by prepositional phrases…
“Jack and Jill ran up the hill.”
Then, you tack on an infinitive phrase…
“Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water.”
All of this is very straightforward because in grade school, you write to be understood.
(Perhaps this is why we tell people to “write like 3rd graders”… even though I hate that advice.)
Why sentences fall apart
“Higher level” writing is not about being understood. It is about forced word goals and arbitrary page counts.Papers that reach the five-page mark will receive a passing grade. Papers that don’t get marked as “incomplete.”
Results follow incentives. The shift turns concise scholars into obtuse windbags.
“Concerning the objectives of a young boy, Jack, and a young girl, Jill, they depart across the lawns of their own homes in order to physically thrust themselves, using their legs, from a lower place of elevation to a higher one. Upon reaching their destination, the two individuals must fill their fluid-fetching receptacle with proper drinking material.”
Most young people walk off the graduation stage with the false assumption that more words is always better.
Writers forget their earliest teaching: writing simple, declarative sentences that can be easily understood.
That’s what I want to talk about today: simple, declarative sentences.
Two notes before we get to the examples:
Don’t be scared off by that term “declarative.” It simply means you are declaring a truth. You are making a statement.
That word “simple” is not a synonym for “easy.” It’s a type of declarative sentence: the opposite of “complex.” (We'll get into complex sentences another time).
Here’s an example of a simple, declarative sentence:
“I used to work hard.”
This is the opening line to Joe Karbo’s legendary sales letter, The Lazy Man’s Way to Riches. Can you imagine a more straightforward sentence? 5 words: subject->verb->infinitive.
Simple, simple, simple.
Yancey Strickler’s 5-word first line in his book, This Could Be Our Future, is just as simple:
“It started with a headline.”
Writers often use the word “it” lazily, but this sentence works as a first line. We immediately want to read the next line and find out what exactly “it” is.
String a few declarative sentences together, and now you’re developing a story, as Sunil Rajaraman does in one of my all-time favorite Medium posts: Everybody is Rich But You.
“It’s Monday morning at 8:00. You are on a sales call with an East Coast customer. You’re normally at the office at 10:00. You’re grumpy. You need a personal day.”
There are no commas in those sentences. You still get the picture.
All these examples have short, third-grade level subjects.
“I.” “It.” “You.”
These are the first pronouns we learn.
A different choice of word can add intrigue to an ordinary sentence. My friend Tim Denning is an expert at writing surprising sentence subjects.
“A polar bear can change your life.”
“Online writing is an illusion.”
“His potatoes helped soldiers survive WWII.”
Tim is a self-taught writer, so it’s worth bringing in an example from the other pole. Washington Post journalist Shira Ovide let this declarative sentence loose in her On Tech newsletter.
Read each well-chosen word one at a time:
“Laws are not a cure-all for our digital privacy mess.”
Incredible.
Notice how even though Shira is using a similar structure (subject->verb->adjective->preposition), the vocabulary changes drastically. Heavy topics often require heavy words.
One more example, and then we’re going to pull out the big lesson.
The last example is from Shonda Rhimes hit show, Bridgerton. Between string renditions of Taylor Swift songs and close up shots of Regé-Jean Page's… um… glutes, you'll find this nifty isocolon tucked in Season 1, Episode 6.
The speaker is trying to make a distinction between how the Duke of Hastings feels about children compared to his duchess.
“He wanted an heir.”
“She wanted a child.”
This is fabulous writing from Chris Van Dusen. Two sentences. Four words each. Heartache and heartbreak wrapped up in a neat, unflinching package.
Now, here’s the big key for you to practice.
When writing declarative sentences, the first two words of each sentence are very often the subject and verb.
Look again at the examples. I've bolded each subject and verb.
“I used to work hard.”
”It started with a headline."
“It (is) Monday morning…”
“You are on a sales call…”
"You (are) normally at the office…”
“You (are) grumpy."
“You need a personal day.”
“A polar bear can change your life.”
“Online writing is an illusion.”
“His potatoes helped soldiers survive WWII.”
“Laws are not a cure-all for our digital privacy mess.”
And of course:
"He wanted an heir."
"She wanted a child."
When struggling to write, it’s helpful to declare something you know to be true. Do it as simply as possible.
Then, you can proceed to the next sentence.
Thanks for bringing my attention to this simple technique to draw that attention of the reader. I am inspired to re-read portions of my favorite books and authors to see how this idea is used.